It was a dangerous plan to make my attempt at regular blogging going into one of the busiest times of the year at work. The 1st through 3rd of July are truly a whirlwind in the banking world, especially leading into the 4th of July and especially when its a holiday weekend and even more-so when there is a hurricane coming this direction for that particular holiday weekend. (Side note: I wish my husband hadn't been born on July 2nd right in the middle of these crazy bank days... couldn't he have come a week early or late?)
I am, however, determined to make my best attempt at this still.
My failure to blog coincides with feelings of failure. I feel like I'm working so hard in all aspects of my life and yet I feel that I am falling behind, not meeting my goals, not ever feeling good enough. I have moments of "this is silly" and I am being "stupid" by feeling this way and deep down feeling like shouldn't my best efforts be good enough. There is a tug-of-war in my mind on where I am going, what I am doing, how I am going to get there, how to feel good about what I am doing and how to have faith that it will all come together. I wish I could be happy-go-lucky and not worry and not let myself become stressed. I try to remind myself "you only live once so carpe diem!" but that is much, much easier said than done... like most everything...
I need to find my peace... not peace from others, not just calm around me... calm within me.
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